Why expressing your masculinity might function as a defense mechanism for women!

As a woman, just close your eyes for a second. Truly envision what being feminine means to you. Elegance, strength, creativity? Weakness, failure, abuse?

Many women still believe that being in their feminine is a form of weakness, and that expressing their masculine side will protect them and bring more benefits. Some of the reasons are:

A complex relationship with her mother. It’s called the Electra Complex. In this case the girl/woman grows up with a sense of competition with her mother, preferring the father. This can be detrimental growing up, as a mother is every woman’s first role model when it comes to the meaning of being feminine and a woman with your man and in life.

The rejection of the own femininity due to trauma experienced in earlier life or later in relationships (sexual abuse, infidelity). In this case women can tend to subconsciously desire to no longer look attractive to the other sex.

I had a client who is naturally a very feminine and proud woman. As a former model, she is not only used to dress the part, but also really express her own energy. When she found out that her husband had an affair, she “forgave” him, mainly because of their children. In reality though, she never really forgave him for his unfaithfulness. She slowly started wearing more like a man at home (while when going out remained in her feminine style) in order to avoid intimacy with him. With time, this of course led to more frustration on both parts, more infidelity and by him leaving her for another woman as an end result.

Expressing our masculinity is often a way to escape and cover up painful experiences, instead of feeling them and working through them. The feminine energies come from the womb, the heart and the intuition…all connected with the voice, speaking your truth.

In order to reclaim your female energy, it is all about understanding your own thought process about this. Checking in with the relationship with your mom and dad and how that has shaped you. Are you playing out their roles or are you really being you?

Much love,

Ani