Distorted Sexuality – are we love addicts or love avoidants?
In the 60s women have burned their bras in public as a symbol for not just feminism – but also female sexual liberation.
Since then we have come a long way, but we might have also just lost our way. Perhaps we became like heat-seeking missiles attracting pleasure for all the “wrong” reasons, or we were just shooting empty bullets in the name of love.
I remember asking men and women “why they are sleeping around with so many partners”? Because of my work, I was really interested in knowing the answers & digging deeper into human behavior and their motives
Women often see it as part of their sexual liberation, sometimes it is also the lust for power that it gives them over men, revenge, thinking they can be and do what men do, or simply the desire to win the “competition” with other women.
Men are different in their approach. Their hunting instinct is their driving force. They feel often about sex that they want something new. Even they like the place they live, they desire to richer their experience by new “places to visit”. Maximize reproduction, more sexual partners = more pleasure.
If you understand sexual magnetism & energy, sacred sexuality is rooted in deep trust, love & safety. Sleeping around can be fun & fulfilling, but how long does it really satisfy you? Some get eventually tired of it, others live it between relationships and another group again, simply enjoys this lifestyle.
Love addicts are often people who were abandoned in childhood, and those who like to avoid love go into a relationship intensely, but back away when things get too close.
Maybe we are all nowadays a mix between addicts and avoidants, maybe we are not. The temptations are real and ever present for men and women. But honestly, in my work I see it constantly: only real intimacy allows my clients in the end to face the depths of their being, their demons and power.
Many tests and research has proven that Monogamy isn’t natural to us. I do believe that we are naturally polygamous. Having said that, Monogamy is a choice, a choice that we have to continuously make – if we choose so.
Sleeping around has never been my style. I am too picky for that. For me sexual liberation is indeed the sacred bond between a man and a woman.
When you know and practice tantra, when your kundalini awakens and you can see not just into your soul, but also into the soul of your partner, when you feel connected and in divine union with everything – for me that is liberation, that is freedom.
Much Love,
Ani